


Back in Brooklyn

by memories_are_all_we_have



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Violence, One Shot, Outing, Shit Brooklyn Detectives, mentions of hate crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26890501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memories_are_all_we_have/pseuds/memories_are_all_we_have
Summary: They've been dating for a while now, and as badly as Rafael wants to tell people, he knows he can't force Sonny out of the closet. So he makes himself be content with simply loving him from afar when in public.And then one night, Sonny is forced out, and all Rafael can do is watch.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 122





	Back in Brooklyn

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting on my desktop for a while, so i figured id dust it off and post it. please be warned, there is homophobia and talk of a past hate crime

Being out with the squad, so close to Sonny, but unable to touch him, was a pain. Rafael hated it. He knew they'd go home later and he'd have his chance, but he despised not being out in public. He'd come out years ago, had already dealt with any fallout. If people had a problem with it, he could handle it. It hurt, just a bit, that Sonny was so reluctant to tell their friends, especially after a year of dating. 

A fact he'd told Sonny before. The only reason he'd dropped it was because Sonny had nearly had a panic attack at the idea. It was obvious he'd tried coming out before and it had ended poorly. So Rafael didn't push. 

But God did he want to go up and pull Sonny into his arms. Congratulate him on a case well done. 

Instead, he turned back to his drink and took a long swig. 

"Everything okay?" Liv checked, raising an eyebrow at him. He glanced at her, then back to his drink. 

"Fine." 

"I thought you'd be happier. This was a solid win." 

"I am happy." It was true, mostly. Yes, he was frustrated, but he was pleased with the case results. 

"Then why do you look so miserable?" 

Before Rafael could come up with a reasonable excuse, a shout dragged his attention away. "Carisi! That you?" Rafael turned his head, frowning as a man- three men, actually- approached Sonny. Sonny, who had been leaning against the bar with Rollins, froze and looked over. Rafael frowned as Sonny visibly tensed, shoulders rising and grip tightening on his beer. 

Without a word, Sonny turned on his heel and marched back to their table.

"Hey." He muttered sliding into his seat. The group stared at him. A moment later, Rollins reappeared as well. 

"Carisi, what-" 

"Already forget about us?" The men were there as well, hovering in the space between Rafael and Olivia. 

Sonny looked at them, jaw clenched. "Haven't forgot anythin." He growled. 

"Who exactly are you?" Fin asked. He and Rollins flanked Sonny and had, without seeming to realize it, moved closer to the man. Rafael bit back a smirk. Whoever these guys were, it was obvious they weren't friends. And they'd just approached a table full of cops. This wasn't going to end well for them. 

"Mitch Parson, this is Henderson and Johnson. We worked with Carisi in Brooklyn." 

Rafael frowned briefly. Sonny had only worked in Brooklyn for a month. He'd never gone into great detail on why he'd left, but it was obvious the experience hadn't been pleasant. Rafael could see why. 

"You're detectives?" Rollins asked, glancing at Sonny. He was still tense. Up close, Rafael could see the tremor to his hand. 

"Yeah. We'd heard Carisi was in Manhattan, but I'm surprised he's still hangin around. You lasted, what, Carisi, a week in Queens?"

"Go away, Parson." Sonny said tightly, eyes burning a hole into the table.

"Aw, what's the matter? Haven't you missed us?" 

"I think you better listen to him." Olivia said carefully, raising an eyebrow. "Unless you want me to contact your CO." 

"Hey, we're just tryin to have a conversation." Parson raised his hands defensively. "Not that I'm surprised. Carisi always had an attitude problem. Figured it was from takin' dicks up his ass." 

Rafael tensed, shooting Sonny a look. His face had gone completely blank and he wasn't moving. Rafael wasn't even sure he was breathing. Suddenly it all made sense why he'd been so panicked about coming out. Clearly whatever had happened following these former co-workers finding out hadn't been pleasant.

"Excuse me?" Rollins' voice was deadly and she looked positively murderous. 

"What, you haven't figured it out yet? Didn't think anyone could look at him and _not_ see a fairy." 

"Man, you need to shut up and get out of here." Fin growled. 

"What? I'm just sayin-" The sound of a chair scratching the floor cut Parson off. "Aw, come on, Sunshine, don't leave!" He called as Sonny walked away. He stepped away from the table, likely to follow, but Rafael's hand darted out and grabbed his wrist, grip tight. "Hey, man, let me go!"

"Stay away from him." Rafael said, voice low.

"You can't tell me what to do. Free country." Rafael stood, nails digging into Parson's wrist. "Ow, let go-" 

"If you know what's good for you, you will leave him alone." He dropped the hand and pushed passed Parson. Finding Sonny needed to be his focus now. The squad could handle these jackasses.

"Oh, I get it! You're his sugar daddy, huh?" Parson called after him. 

Rafael ignored them and exited the bar, scanning the streets for Sonny. He found him just down the road, leaning against a wall and hugging himself. "Sonny." Rafael breathed, jogging over. Sonny didn't look up. His gaze stayed on the sidewalk, body a ball of tension. "Sonny." He repeated it when he was standing in front of him, reaching up to grip his shoulders. Fear gripped his chest. "Are you okay?" 

Sonny's head finally came up. When it did, Rafael felt his heart break. Tears ran down Sonny's cheeks. His chest heaved. "Rafi." It was a sob that shook his entire body. 

"Mi amor..." Rafael pulled him into his arms without thinking and guided Sonny's head to his shoulder. "I'm here. Right here." 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- I- I don't-" Rafael tightened his grip on Sonny. He could feel him trembling against him. 

"Sh, it's okay, cariño, I'm here now. Don't apologize." 

"I just- I didn't think I'd ever see them again. They- Fuck, Rafi-" 

"It's okay. We can just go home. Let's go." 

Some of the tension melted from Sonny's shoulders. He nodded. "Yes. Yes, I- I need to-" 

"Sunshine! Knew things hadn't changed." And he stiffened again. Rafael looked, just as Sonny broke away from him, spine straightening as he turned. Parson and his lackeys approached, followed closely by the squad. "So he _is_ your sugar daddy?"

"Don't talk about him." Sonny growled, stepping between Rafael and Parson. 

"Aw, why not, Sunshine? Daddy say we can't?" 

"He's an ADA and there are four cops here. You really wanna do this right now?" There was authority in his words, a confidence that had been missing only minutes earlier.

Parson considered it, eyeing Sonny, Rafael, then the squad behind him. "Alright, Sunshine. We'll see you around though, huh?" He grinned, then nodded to the other two. "And I'll send your love to Queens!" There was laughter, then they were gone. 

Sonny deflated, curling in on himself and exhaling harshly. The squad moved in and Rafael stepped towards him. He resisted the urge to reach out, however, wanting to let Sonny decide how to play this. If he wanted to confirm what the others might suspect, or to play it off. "Carisi?" Rollins' voice was gentle. "You okay?"

Sonny breathed heavily, nodding slowly. "Sorry. It just- things didn't end so well with them." His shoulders slumped and he ran a hand through his hair. "They, uh- they found out I'm bi. And it didn't go over too well." There was still a tremor going through him. His voice was far away. "They beat the crap out of me. That was- that was when I transferred to Queens. 'cept a couple of them there were friends with the guys from Brooklyn, so they were- they-" He cleared his throat. "'s why I left Queens so fast." 

"Sonny..." Rollins was gaping at him, eyes huge. 

"Did you report them?" Olivia asked softly. Rafael could practically see her drafting her next call to IAB.

Sonny snorted. "Didn't need to. The CO both places knew. They were glad I left. Didn't want a 'fairy' hangin' around their precincts." 

"That's horrible." Fin commented, scowling.

"Yeah." Sonny agreed hoarsely. Rafael couldn't help it- a hand rose and fell on Sonny's shoulder, squeezing lightly. Olivia knew he was gay, the squad had surely guessed by now. The gesture was platonic enough to be written off as one of solidarity, not love. Comfort between men who shared a common struggle. Then Sonny looked back at him, his eyes misty. A smile broke through and he turned, throwing his arms around Rafael. Startled, it took him a moment to return the hug. Warmth filled his chest. "Doesn't matter anymore." Sonny murmured once he pulled back, keeping a hand on Rafael's back as he faced the squad. "It's better here anyway." 

Olivia smiled, something knowing in her eyes. Fin nodded, and only Rollins looked surprised. That melted quickly, however, and she grinned. "Hell yeah it is." She declared. "Come on, next round's on me!"

Rafael glanced at Sonny, eyebrow raised in silent question. Sonny shrugged, a smile finding its way onto his lips. "I mean, if it's on her..." He joked. Rafael snorted, but let himself be pulled back towards the bar. Just before they entered, however, Sonny paused and turned back to face him. His hands sank down and found purchase on Rafael's waist. "Hey." He leaned in, voice soft.

Rafael found himself unable to stop his own smile from forming. "Hi."

"I love you." Sonny murmured, then sank down to capture Rafael's lips in a gentle kiss. When he pulled back, his hands fell, and he was grinning. Rolling his eyes, Rafael caught Sonny's hand.

"I love you too. Now let's get inside."

They followed the others in. Rafael watched Sonny as they sat back down, his chest swelling with love and gratitude. Love for this squad, for Sonny, for this moment. And gratitude that he and Sonny had found each other in a place that let them be themselves, together.


End file.
